There goes my hero...

Hey again!

Seeing as how I am more frequented that I thought one post ago, I now feel more of a duty to update, insted of sitting here playing games! I'd better feed the internet something to think about....

Which is the perfect opportunity to try and tackle a post i have had in my head for a long time. I have been trying to word it just perfectly, so that everyone can understand what I am talking about.

I am going to compare myself to Spiderman.

See, here's the thing,

A few weeks past I had had an extremely long cold day at work. It turned out that I was on water/flag raising in the morning, and was running a campfire that night. So my day started at 8:00am, and I finished at 9:15 pm. Now i know you people who have done summer camp will say that it is a full 2 hours shorter than the day we did every day of the week, but getting up on your own, as opposed to being in charge of 12 little sprogs is much harder, as you all know.

So, I had this day. By the end I'm shattered. I ALWAYS give campfire 110%, and often feel as though I'm the one that has to lead it, start the songs, fill in the gaps etc. I know my co-workers are more than capable of running campfires on their own, and yet i still make myself step up.

But i digress, the point of the story is that i was shattered. Mentally, emotionally and most importantly, physically. So i went to watch T.V. in bed. Spiderman 2 was on, so i thought "Great, some mindless action to let my brain rest.".

The film brought me to tears.

Now, those of you that know me know that I'm not particularly emotional. Some may even call me stunted, but that film really got to me. I've only ever cried at the TV once before, and that was when i was 10.

What brought me to tears was the scene where Spiderman has to fight Doc Ock on the train. The train is hurtling along at hundreds of miles per hour, and all these people are counting on spiderman to stop it. He finally does and the strain, both physical and mental, makes him faint. Somewhere along the fight he looses his mask, and all the people on the train can see spiderman for who he really is. Just a 20-something kid. They all carry him gently to the back of the train, and the kids give him back his mask, quietly saying that "They won't tell".

Now, this hit me hard, because I often feel the strain of working at camp. No matter how I'm feeling, or whats going on in my personal or professional life, I have to be this superhero to the kids. I have to be "Jamie the Great". I'm not sure where that name for me came up, but now I use it to remind myself of who I need to be while I'm working. If I'm not laughing, joking, messing around and being happy, I'm not doing what i need to. I have to be perfect. All day.

Seeing Peter Parker's lives and how he has to work to be the superhero, even though he might not want to that day, or might not feel up to it really hit home for me. I guess what made me feel so emotional was that what i was watching was an amazing representation of my life. He's a normal guy, pushed to be a hero and to be perfect every day, which is how I feel working at camp. Don't get me wrong, I love working there. It has made my life so much more than it would have been otherwise. It's just a lot of pressure and expectations. That's why we all joke so much, and some of us may seem emotionally stunted sometimes. It's because we have to be, for the kids.

When you let long days, bad weather, crappy kids, bitchy girl scout moms, awkward groups, boring classes and pointless rules get in the way, you loose the passion for the job.

You become Mike Althoff.

Don't get me wrong, I like the guy, he was my roomate for a while, but he lost the passion for the job and just stopped caring.

Thats what i'm fighting, that's why I am Jamie the Great at work, and Jamie who needs quiet and videogames when i'm not.

Keep it safe kiddies

Jamie
Veg
Banana

"You're someone's Hero." - The Hero Workshop